I could easily do what a lot of guys who call themselves “pickup artists” have done, and packaged my approach anxiety cure into a product that I can charge you to have access to. But, unlike most guys in the industry, I’m not an asshole. And I don’t call myself a pickup artist. The whole idea of being a pickup artist makes me cringe. Going around actively trying to hit on and pickup women. It’s not a way of creating fulfilling experiences.
The solution to the problem of approach anxiety when meeting women is so fucking simple. It doesn’t require some deep re-thinking of how you go about interacting with women. And it doesn’t involve any kind of deep self-analysis or re-assessment of your “inner game”. No way. It’s much simpler than that.
Why do we get nervous about meeting women?
I could make a very long list here, but to be honest I can’t be bothered to sit here typing all fucking day. Let’s boil it down to the basics…
- You’re worried that she might not like you, for whatever reason.
- You feel bad because you’re interrupting her day or interfering with her life in some way.
- You fear some kind of negative outcome such as rejection or public humiliation or shaming.
Basically, you think that by going up to a woman and saying hello to her, you are doing something BAD. You feel like approaching women is a bad, naughty thing. You feel like you’re trying to get something from her, and you feel bad about that. And because there is a chance that your evil plan might go wrong, you become obsessed with the idea that if she decides she doesn’t like you talking to her, you’re going to feel really fucking terrible.
This, my friend, is all bullshit.
Come on man, give me the cure…
Ok. Imagine you’re standing at the front door of your mother’s house. She’s been sick for the last couple of days, and you’ve brought along a big bunch of flowers, a couple of celebrity gossip magazines, and a packet of fancy coffee beans to surprise her, cheer her up and make her feel better. You ring the doorbell. You’re about to do something good, and create a nice moment. You feel good. You know for a fact that she’s not going to reject the gifts or tell you to go away. Because you’re doing something nice. She’s going to welcome you. She’s your mother, she knows that you don’t want or need anything from her in return.
THAT’S HOW I WANT YOU TO FEEL ABOUT APPROACHING WOMEN. AND HOW I WANT YOU TO MAKE WOMEN FEEL. YOU DON’T NEED OR EXPECT ANYTHING FROM THEM. YOU DON’T MIND WHAT HAPPENS. YOU’RE ALREADY OK IN YOURSELF. YOU’RE JUST OFFERING THE GIFT OF YOUR ENERGY. GOT IT?
And not only that. You need to eliminate the word “approach” from your vocabulary when it comes to talking about meeting women. “Approaching” is something you do to potentially dangerous or hazardous situations. As my awesome buddy John Cooper says “You approach the a bomb, you approach the edge of the cliff”. Approaching women is what pickup artists do. Pickup artists are fucking losers. Don’t try to become one. Just be a real guy. Real guys just go around meeting women. And it’s a good thing. Not a strategic mission with the objective of acquiring a “target”. No sir-ee. No “success” or “failure” if things go one way or another.
When you go up to a woman in the street to meet her, you are doing a NICE thing. A good thing. You are bringing a positive vibe to her day. You don’t want, need or expect anything in return. You don’t need some kind of “result” to feel good, like getting her number or whatever. Some women you meet will really enjoy meeting you, and that’s when some magic could potentially happen. And it will happen naturally, you don’t have to use pickup “game” techniques to force something to happen. It becomes a co-created thing instead of a situation you had to strategically engineer through the use of methods, tricks, systems techniques you learned in a book or from “pickup gurus” on Youtube.
But sometimes you are going to think that you’re not good enough for attractive women to be interested in you. Here’s what I have to say about that: Fuck that.
I went out last night with really cool German guy who had absolutely no idea how cool he was. He’s a complete nerd. Completely awkward around women. I just told him to fully own his nerdsmanship. Be a fucking nerd. But be the nerd who is comfortable expressing himself and being comfortable around women. Don’t be the typical nerd who freezes up when a hot sexy young thang walks into the room. She’s probably far more of a nerd than you are. Imagine her joy when she finally meets you, this nerdy boy who actually has the balls to speak to her and make her feel comfortable expressing her nerdy self. She’s going to want to hold your hand and stuff. She might even sit on your knee and give you a bit of a boner. Suddenly you’re nerdy stealth seducer who spends more money on condoms each month than on fucking FOOD.
Women aren’t so scary. Just talk to them how you would talk to a friend.
There is this huge misconception that just because girls are pretty, they are somehow not the same species as your ugly-ass self. That they are somehow far superior to you. And completely unobtainable. Not that we want to obtain women, of course. You know what I mean. You think that they wouldn’t want to spend time with a guy like you, because you’re flawed in some way. Or various ways.
You think you need to become this “cool guy”, this cool handsome athletic confident dude with a good job and a nice car and all that other bullshit. And you think you need good “game”. Outstanding pickup skills. But it’s a complete myth. You just need to become a positive, giving and loving person. Relax, buddy. It’s easy. Just go around making everyone you meet feel as comfortable and expressive as possible. They will love you for it. You don’t need to use any pickup stuff at all. Just be a guy who is comfortable in his own skin, despite his flaws. It’s extremely rare for women to meet a guy like that. And when they do get to meet that rare guy, they will let you know that they appreciate it. Some of them will be attracted to you because of it, and they will give you subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) hints and clues for you to act on. And when they start with that stuff, it’s time for you to be a man and take action. Give her that space in which she can express that side of herself. Her affectionate and sexual self.
If you need some help with this, consider coming to hang out with me here in Poland. I’m experienced as fuck at helping guys, especially the more shy and nerdy guys, start becoming comfortable (I use that phrase a lot) and chilled out around women. If you’ve been following any “pickup” stuff on the net or in books etc, I’ll help flush all of that bullshit out of your head so that you can start becoming very real, very natural and very attractive around women. I’ll guide you and help you develop and evolve into one cool motherfucker. No matter how much of an unattractive, un-cool loser you might think you are now.
Interested? Who wouldn’t be. Contact me and let’s put an end to the situation you’re currently in. Let’s start having some fun.
Daygame Poland 